Khojili Kuhudi Odhanā

 

Ghana Kuhudi ra hajaa hajaa diganta
Rasta kahe - mu nahi au agaku
Kuheli separe dhuan parada dharě kehi kahe- khoj mote...

Lichichhi jadi khojibaku kahe kahinki ..
Utsuka, naramia, chhena bharā kukura jhia ra phula jhara muhan re achhu ki tu,
Magu ki gela agae agae laharei nachi haskuri akhire;

Kuhudi ra jala tale
Dhara padi jai thiba machha pari dhik dhik hue lihgt ebebi sakala sadhe saat ta re, lama lamp post upare
Tara jaliba bujhiba barbar dhap dhap heba bhitare
Kahu ki Tu
Mu aneichhi tote;

Chandra bhali dishu thiba maham ra Surya- jemiti bata-bańa, asu asu dhala dhuan bhitare saat ta ghoda ratha chhadi ubhaan kuade, agaku ta ratha badhuchhi ghoda bina, hele ye darpana ki aluru jaluru kumkumia gachha mananka jhum jhumia patra canopy re rekhankita Tora muhan au Surya nku Chandra ra Rupa dei pindhichhu ki matha re;

Gachha re gachhe Kajalapati
Jane pare jane dura dala ru mo pakha dala ku udi asi basanti sidha mote chahin
Tanmaya kalaraba abrutti ra tandra chhae ati patalia lanja o kamkama bistruta pakshya ra achhanna rahasya bhitare
Tu sankholu mote,
Lage e kola tora
Au mu daru daru bhangu bhangu thik hei jae

Ashwasta hei jae hueta

Hei dekh janha mamu tu jo kahu mu kandiba bhuli jae
Galare sukhila luhara dhara bi mora to muhan ghasa re chhapi jae kuade, Ma

Mu puni uthi padi
Khelana dhari kheli base
Tu kintu janu
Mu bada hei jaichhi
Khelana au bhala lageni mote...
Kana tu thik karichhu Janani,
Kuhudi ra odhana tale to muhan disheni thik se
Au mu bujhi pareni tote
Tu ba au kahibu mote tu kana bhabuchhu mo lagi khelana khela chhada kan au kara jai pare...

✨️
Magha Navaratri: Sasthi
Debahuti Panigrahi
Bhubaneswar
24.1.26
Saturday

The Intimate Stranger

She smiles..... 
Oh I see now
looking at me - crawling...
putting things in my mouth without  grasping food or poison or nothing. 
I am active now... 
no more lying limp - busy sensing around.

Gawking at her I am at sea
when She calls me by my name...
It's not Debahuti. Nor Panigrahi.
-the synonyms of this life, this birth.
I look at her and lose the character of 'Me' I am in for few seconds. 

The luminous visage, the celestial bloom-light,  gallaxies spinning fast to her right, the milkyway as a drape, the radiating third eye,
The crescent upon her head
The - 'now you see me' smile,
All of it... seems so close.
But how.
Reading my thoughts
She slides ... now in the clouds
now in the rain.
Rremains untraceable.

Back to the role play
I fail to recall my name
and She is joyous
as She finds me sweet with booby eyes.
It's been years now I am in my fours and still crawling.
She doesn't pick me up.
She guesses I will stand up any moment now...

Waiting...
Looking at me closely from her hideout and beaming.
I am her marvel story.

The Camouflage

 You Camouflage ......... 🪩✨️✨️✨️All over ... everywhere around me constantly looking at me, smiling- marking my every move,

loving me always - encouraging, forcing me to forge ahead -
jerking, making me awake from the fatal slumber, cooing, buzzing - leaving notes written with no script, always around- eager to appear...
but silent as you know I m still not ready...

Here you are... and here you are not...

I don't find joy knowing this nowadays
after the long fifteen years of mystic brush with you.

I cried and noone heard noone bothered, laughed, and threw me as leftover.
You heard and comforted me. I am not to know this,
I was lost, no consciousness- in a coma half-dying.
I didn't know when you came nursed me, caressed my bruises ...
healed my deep dark wounds slowly... i didnt know anything...

But understanding now joining one piece with the other of this grand puzzle of my lifepath.

I know it's useless to thank you 
I m breathing today without gasping - all because of you, O healer... I am confident and strong today -
its because you inserted those grains drop by drop in every other day till i sustain and get up from the demonic pit.

Okay, so I won't say thank you... but would like to say with a silent cry churning painfully my heart that - I definitely miss you.

Whatever I was searching everywhere in every face - it was only you.

I miss you more now...

O Everything, its the month of May when you send me to this earth and make me bring the one - the "Light Soul" you wanted to import....
Its the same May and I am again trembling... happening for some days now... a small rustle of leaves touching me as thunderstorm undoing every effort of yours.... 

Help save your temple..... where you are gonna reside if your place is flooded and ransacked.. 

are you waiting patiently  

The knowledge- the path, the lense that you gave me is working perfectly and I have redeveloped the deteste for everything the is not nature defined and validated by you. 

I can see and feel my childhood days...

The nauseated mornings turning into comforted afternoons and the evenings of solace...

The same pattern is repeating itself...

The renaissance is making me restless and anchored at the same time.

I am hurt to see how people act nonsense, low level - cant cross the basic-instinct-fencing their act,  talk full with futility.

Disgust soars me, boredom encircles me...

I don't understand what I m doing here where everything has become meaningless,

what I m doing here where I don't belong...

Where is my world, my place,

Where are my type of people.

O Blue Whale, lying there in the ocean beneath me, unseen,

When will you surface- come to me, trusting me...

Tell me when I will be ready? 

The Current Print

Where there is no one
Still the white lillys sway
Upon the quiet lake
Pining to take a bath
In the ray of light
Rushing down
From the moon's door,
A sensation runs
here to there searching for some entity - that is present-
So far is not captured by the lense of the bare eyes...
An entity - that leaves it's 'current print' in every corner...

After crawling upon the huge hand of the elephant
in its silent quest for crumbs,
The ant reports to the herd chief I crossed an ashy patch of land that was breathing.

The Faceless, the formless, has taken the form of everything-
the lilly, lake, tree, shrubs, half light-half dark, the mystique moon -
a giant puzzle lying
right before the eyes,
that the human brain fails to apprehend.

It murmurs -
Ye, see me.
Come.

The Sempiternal Kin

 The beautiful teacher stands firm this time - serious and resolute - as I arrive.

Oozing out immense power...
The white of her eyes
Burns like newborn stars
Evading the black pupil
And spreads all over the place
The whole rooftop is full tilt filled with her eyes only...

One moment She is here
With me, within me
The next She is nowhere
Along with the starry light
To a distant land
And the very next moment
She appears again...
Engulfing me, hissing from within
Glowing gold all over her body
The crown has grown bigger in size now
Many snakes peeps out of the diamonds, rubbies...
Pythons dangle with her hair

As I lock my eyes with hers She pulls my soul towards her
'Loose yourself, your present id and claim your original lineage' - She murmurs...
Her face, neck and hands merging with the hoods of seven headed King Kobra...
For a brief moment
I don't find me.

5.4.25

Sabuja Nadi re Chandra ra Mauna Sangeeta

Rati ra Chandra-
Unmadana re bhara
Bibhavari ratha ra sarathi se
Bahut bata jibara achhi aji bi
Sabu rati chalibara eka hin brutta
Baki alaga alaga rasta
Bata hin Roopa badalae
Ete kautuhala lakhichhi 
akhi re... seithi lagi.

Bhasha re maun Sangeeta ra lahara
Sunanti nadia bahunga mane
Tipi rakhanti sabuja naadi re...
Shiva nka ushnisha ra asankhya Omkara ...
Bahi Jae Chandra upara
Akash Ganga pari
Bhagavati Bhubaneswari nka
Hreeng nada ra meghamala
nayeen asanti Vasuki ra
anamadheya ajasra mumdamala pari...

Ete bhida re Chandra chale rati ra rasta dhimei dhimei
Bele bele lage thaka batoi soi galaki...
Dhyanastha Chandra Adijogi nka jatajuta bhitare padi, hunting khandia khabara- 12 ghanta chaliba pare bhete Surya nku.

Sankhole, Raja-danda dharei dei kahe jemiti- Sambhala ebe.
Surya pacharanti- ajika report?
Mauna Chandra- ishara re gachha, pahada, pathara, nadi, jharana o jagrata sannyasi nka adaku chahein kebala...

Sabuja Nadi re Chandra ra Mauna Sangeeta

17.1.2025

The Ward

Threads...

Between Ishitwa & me...

So subtle so much unbelievable

Yet

It's there...

The call from the only relative

From a far away land

A symbolic letter

A disguised gesture...

This & that

Because I had forgotten my home...

So,

A shadow, a feeling touches me cutting my earthly existence, unconscious levels...

The parent is calling a sleeping child,

Caressing her head,

Her limbs with an engulfing & enveloping love noone ever knows...

'Get up child,

Get up...'

In the hinge of wakefulness and sleep of the soul

In the half shadow half light I hear a voice

Now loud now goes inaudible...

Low

Very low...

How I love to open my eyes to see the nectar filled face sitting beside me, calling me to wake up.

The hand is giving me a jerk sometimes...

Very bold and strong

If it were a mere sleep stage

It would have woken me up earlier

I am in a coma

And in the charge of the Divine as the doctor!

The guardian is so patient - She or He never loses hope
It's not my case now.
It's the case of the Doctor.

The more I slip into the valleys of unconsciousness, filled with lies untruth and distrust
by the dream world that surrounds me, whispering in my ear all the sorrows all the failures I have been through here, the more the Loving Being is persistent to show me the truth, the realm of brilliant light,
Of love
Of bliss!

I extend my paralysed hand to,
O the Loving one
So powerful,
Pull me out
Take me to you!

She Comes...

I call her
And She comes.
This is happening now,
Consciously, unconsciously...
She comes,
And Her Arrival is announced with
A Mad Black Butterfly dashing around me with terrific speed... and vanishing into the inkish blue of the twilight sky—
As a messenger delivering something urgently,
And returning fast to where She is needed.

Then these small bats encircle, capering, announcing Her Arrival.
She is closer,
They say—the sixty-four Joginis hovering... twirling...
The moments fuse.
My gaze, now an unwinking steady stare,
Makes Her appear before me.

She comes,
Riding the bat chariot.
One, two, three, four—and then many bats congregate in the sky above my head...
She wakes up,
Opening her large, blue eyes...
The bats circle in rhythm now, frisking.
And She places her first step upon the lotus.
The bats move and whirl madly now,
Faster and faster...
Somewhere around the strange, salient soiree,
A lotus staircase descends,
And She ascends and descends in confusion... worried and angry.

I know She is around,
I have to offer Her a lotus-seat
Upon my head.
I create the lotus,
It blooms, pouring bright light to close the next moment and get lost in darkness—
Blooms and closes,
Light and Darkness...
The Goddess goes up and down in a mad frenzy.
It goes on and on for some time,
Finally settling with the blooming lotuses and the radiating light.

The Dark Goddess ascends dark chambers,
Lighting one by one within me and bursting out of my head,
To fill and spread the empty space surrounding me...

She smiles, sitting upon the fully blossomed lotus—jerking her right eyelashes, illuminated now in bluish starry light,
Wearing a chimerical golden crescent and an aurous third eye on her forehead,
Glowing like a newborn Sun—radiating, pulsating as a blooming yoni—a black hole merging with the white one,
Drinking and spilling hot blood, lava, nectar, about to deliver the cosmos...

She whistles sharp and calls me.
Let us start the journey.
Look at me.
Focus on my eyes...
And be still.
She instructs with the seriousness of the ancient teacher,
Long-forgotten.

She places her reddened feet, adorned with hissing serpents, wearing jewels and tinkling bells... and dances...
Jham jham jham jham...
She, the formless—sways...
Siiii siiii siiii siii shiii siiiii.
My brain roars,
With Sahasrara opening up petals after petals,
With swarming honeybees...
Siii siiiii siiiii siiiii siiii siiiii.
And She simmers and sways,
Side to side...
She, the Faceless One.

I know She is around, with this internal music started within my being,
And the mad bats outside, whirling —celebrating her arrival, in silence.
She cavorts, frolicking with the silence roaring.

'Ei Mickey....'

'Ei Mickey....'

Kalima called me sharply with a funny note

like a small girl shrieks in thrilling joy...

Ascending into the Sky very quickly from the Champa tree, where She was waiting for me,

She called me Ei Mickey....'

Spreading her designer feather that shines in the sky and then slowly closing all her forked tail her beautiful face to look like a thin arrow,

She called me Mickey...

She called me Mickey 

Like She is very happy with me

like a friend who calls to play every day.

She loves to call me mickey. Now I know. She has named me Mickey. Why... 

in my father's voice she had called me mickey...earlier..

But this is the first time she called directly...Ei Mickey...

and i smiled.

it sounded so sweet...

10.6.24

🌹🔱🌹🔱🌹

Champa gachga ru udi asi sunya ku laharei uthi, designdar kala chitrita pakhya ku jhoti rangoli bhali kholi akashare ati sundara lanja au muhan ku puni buji dei eka teera bhali sajei dei olhei asila... 

dakila, e mickey...

bhari mitha swara re baki funny tone re...

Like she is happy with me...

A Contact with the Green Souls with Flowery Third Eyes

As my eyes opens up,
I sense a cover as wide as sky envelopes me of seer blankness- choking me along with the unknown surmounting grief and a fear that knows not it's source.

To escape this I step outside of the grilled door and find a different world of light, energy and beauty welcoming.

With few lashes of rain the greenery that gained  growth, wild spirit and anima enwrapped me with flowery bodies...

I need to collect flowers for daily worship & archana and for that they are there, the garden, the greenery and the flowers.

But today something cautioned me.
Don't be blind
Don't go plucking the flowers and disturbing something lying around. It loves you and wants to live, if you let it...

Look around
See the green and the beautifully kept flowers over them.
It's like someone has dressed them for the morning celebration.

See the soft shine
And hear the inaudible joyous chatter...
Be a part of it.
You have come upto this with your care
Now why loose the end part - the pinnacle.

Be with it.
Be a part of it.
Don't undo it
Don't pluck flowers.
Worship them
This is God appearing before you.
A strong and strange voice cautioned me repeatedly till I actually awakened to find myself in a different realm of Green Souls with flowery smile.

Now I don't want to hurt them or disturb their contemplation.
They know me
They forgive me always
I did something, which is not in any book or any method.
I don't know also.
But something strange was happening between me and them and ultimately I find myself being one with them as I went on moving around them, touching,  watering, gathering their acknowledgements ...
It was happening and I am unaware of it.
It bit my ego secretly and reached my soul to get connected to the meditating, smiling green souls with flowers as third eyes.

🌿✨️🌿🌼🌿✨️🌿

A Contact with the Green Souls with Flowery Third Eyes

9.6.24

Bhubaneswar

Return Gift

You are there
Watching me
When I was busy
In my own way
To meet the daily challenges,
Not even thinking of you,
Moved faster
Like a sailess ship
Without a horizon.

You came
Cooed from ever tree
That I passed on foot.
Flashing the stark yellow feathers
Very dearly you called me.
I looked at you
With a wit of a one year old -
Looking at the new found world
With ardent curiosity and joy.
There lies the limit of the connection.
I took in everything
But am not able to process anything.
Alright, let it be like that, MauDau...

In the sacred shrine
When I see you with form
You told me with worried eyes
Child, are you alright...
I have been waiting for you since long
And was bothered
How are you...
You acted as my kith and kin and
The member of my creed.

When I meet the formless,
You stopped acting.
Didn't show any love, nor connection.
I searched and tried to feel connected...
And found onlu the cosmic vibration
In and around me
Up and beneath me
Piercing my being...
And telling me- just Humm..

You came home
Sitting inside my heart...
Seeing you inside me

Every living and nonliving became live & alert- acted as the medium.
Every tree knows me now.
Like we say coma patients do hear.
Who know trees are having
How many eyes and
How many ears...
Or they sense the right vibrations.
The ripe mango fell just before me
As I took the secluded turn...
After posting the application.
The scorching Sun went behind the cloud,
Which was right there
Burning every fibre of my uncovered head.
It's a shock. A pleasant one.
I am used to it now.
It's a sign. A strong & deliberate one.
I know you are with me.
And are walking beside me
And sitting inside me.

Read this
O Loving one
As we read
The illegible writings or scrolls
Of an infant upon the wall.
It's my return b-day gift to you.


Return Gift
25.05.2024
20.53

Ma, Kebe mu thia hebi

Andhara gali re
Na sakala na rati ra bhetabheti
Prahelika ra anchala tale samaya 4.10 lotu thila
Dhyanastha Jogi ra Agamā jhula nei
Jhum jhum ..

Chira parichita Shweta Sandha lanja helei halei auji thila grocery dokana tale.
Saakala hele kichhi pacha alu hueta  underground godown ra
bishala mukha byadana bhitaru khashi asiba.

Chhota helper pila kebe mare kebe khaaibaku diye kahinki eparyanta ta pithi re thiba Shiva linga nku bi agochara na gupta?

Ma kukura ta chhota pua ku akhire jaki soichhi.
Hajila dhana tara.
Tara bikal rati sara ra kandana suni je taku uthei nei bandhi rakhi thila sakale ani chhadi dei gala.
Ashwasta ma mana ebe bi pratyeka agantuka ku sankakula drusti re dekhi nie there.
Jungle jemiti ta akhiru bahari asiba.
Abishwash hin bhayatura ra saha.

Nidrita prithivi tara kolare kola bharti supta santana nku dhari bistarichhi...
Ke jane Akasha ketebele chhadei neba  ta kola ru. Se tani ki dharichhi samastanku. Tike hata dhila hei gale mahasunuya re kie kuade - bikshipta balaya ra chakrabāta re jibe. Nida bhangi gala tara e abhavaniya Swapna dekhi.

Ghuun ghuun ghuun... ghungundi ra sabda road jaen bi ase. 

Nida ra lamba sudanga bhitare  bhula batoi kuade jauthae kejani..

Ekanta patha,
Jibanta padapata mora kahin haji jae...
Mo ānamanā bhava ra kundali bhitare..

Kichhi tagara nka rupā deha Ma ra kala sādhi upare tarakashi chumki pari saajei heichhanti.
Ma kahin?
Muhan kahin Tara?

Jai ra kshina madhu mahaka prana ra kou nibuja tantri ra sikuli kholi dei gale...
Mukti punarjanma ra prākāra nei nachi uthila.
Gachha re gachhe koili eka sange kuhu nada kari uthile..
Pachhe pachhe kumbhatua nka kuhata ra kampana pratidhwanita hei chalila
Kichhi jemiti chamaki jagi uthila...

Dhach dhad dhach dhad sabda re chamaki chahinli
Kie ete sakalu ki kaama karuchhi.
Light jaluthiba eka 2nd floor jharka dei jane kehi uchhulu thila.
Sidha sidha
Diagonal nuhein...
Janili stree loka te Biparita rati-magna
Hatabak o stambhita kichhi muhurta danga nei gabhira nadi re haji gale...
Chetana pherila puni eka bhela nei
Kuhudi bhitaru..
Dehare mora kaunasi spandana naahi
Panchendriya niskriya,
Kundalini Sahasra re Shiva nka agamagama gumpha re phutkara rata..
Bujhili...
Ma Kali...tale ardha bikshipta samarpita Shiva!

E drushya sadharana manavi- manavi ra sata,
Mora darshaka heba kintu adwitiya.
Sadhana ra e you paryaya, ta bi jana nahi.
Aneka jugma rupa dekhi thili prakruti ra-
Kita, patanga, pakshi, pashu...
Hele manavi-manava ra
Se bi brahma muhurta re...
Na, skhalana nahi.
Kathina sadhana ra kholapa pindhi sanjama ra genda dhire dhire agaei  gala.
Prati ti upahara ba sadhuvad ra chhadmarupa re eka parikshya luchi rahi thae.
Jitila prana
Jitila jivana
Dhanya bi
Krutakrutya bi sadhana patha.

Janili aji Parā prakruti Aparā re badali jai pare !
See kama-magna, Radha-Krushna, Abolokiteswar-Pragnyaparqmita, Mahakali-Mqhakala- Sadhika lagi charama indriya-jaya ra sankhanaad kari janti.

Jogamaya ra koti rupa koti Durga
Mu ta gurundu thae
Dekha heu
Hata badhei debi kola ku nebaku
Duraru thai Janani khali kuhe
Han re dhana
Asuchi re...
Karyabyasta?
Athaba gopana re thai Dekhu thae apalak akhire-
Kebe mu thia hebi.
🌺🙏🙏🙏🌺

29.2.2024
4.10am

Kali aur Niley

Sam ek albeli si ladki
Daud jae dhul me mila
Suraj ki chakmaki kan samet ne ke lie harbari me
Aur Surya ki ghoda ki kaan me kuchh atpata sa kahe
Ghoda hinhinae, haste hue-
"Tu majedar hai"
Albeli chaunk jae
Behos gir pade.

Gir pade saam pheilke
Lambe Lambe sadkon ke upar,
Ghane, mote, purani pedon ki sakhaon pe,
Vadion me bahein pasare
Jungle me sarke uska sareer
Hissss hiss srrrrr srrrrr frrrr...
Aur ghume kundal sa.

Mandiron ki jhanjhanati jhanjhar, aur ghantion se, gharon ki arati ki dhun se, behos saam uthe firse chaunk ke
Aur fir chal pade harbari se
Ghunghat sajae mathe pe
Laal sa sindur mathe pe
Payal jhanke patron me
Saam ab Raat hai, badhu hai
Janani bhi hai.

Chand ko mathe pe khos k
Kisi khaan ki Miner ki tarha andheri jhadion me abhi abhi khilta hua safed phulon ko samet ne ke lie nikal pade
Unki khusboo ko buku me sajae
Chandni me nahae woh
Aur Akash Ganga se nisare amrut.

Bahut Kam Hai
Fir se harbari me laut ae
Bastion me ghuse
Sabka Chuhla jalana h
Sabko khana khilana h.
Bachhon ko sulana v to h
Jhuti kahani sunake
Chhati pe hath rakh k...

Akash itna Nila lage ab...
Jesse raat ghana hote jae
Wo hase halke se ...
Tandra mishrit bhaari palkon ko bina uthae hath badhae agae.
Han, akash nahi, kanth h, Ashutosh ki- 'sab so gae, wo puchhte'.
'Han, sab...
Kuchh gine chune ko chhod...
Bade ho gae weh
Mere kahani me jhuth pakad lie hein
Talasne beith gae hain, sachhai.'
Kali raat kahe.

Roj kahe
Nila Akash sune
Roj sune

Kali Andheri, Teen Ankh Wali
Aur Nili kanth wale
Ek dusre ke hath me hath lie
Ghume, nachein
Taraon par pair dumke
Anant Dhuan dhul ki bistruti saanp bane
Ath mahanaag
Aur jhulaen dono ko
Itna mile, itna ghule, kaun kya h,
Samajhna samjhana na ho sake.

Saurya Mandal kahe-
area ham Tum hain,
Saptarshi kahein, ap ham tak hain,
Maha- jagatik kgela kahe,
Mai to khel Tera...
Tujhme Mai, mujhme Tu
samjhun Kabhi, bhulun abhi,
Lo, ab bhul bhi gaya...

Raat bhar ye Chale
Jogi isko pakadne ke lie
Nas Nas khole apna.
Kuchh dhar le to dhar le ...
Baki phisal hi jana hai.
Pae 10 aur khiske 100
To bacha kitna aghori puchhe...
Subah tak log kahe
Ye to sansar hai.

~Nishwash nebaku bhuli jae

 Pratidina nua rupa dhari basi thau..

Sabu thara lage prathama thara painee dekhuchhi tote

Au nishwash nebaku mu bhuli jae...

Matha re chuna badal ra odhani

Surya ra sundar jalantaa tika

Naram madhura pavana ra sundar mana matania hasa tora

Phul re bhara rasta dhare dhare sajaa laja laja bhava

Nishwas nebaku bhuli jae mu

Phula ra bojha bahi

Surya nka kirana ra lamba hata dhari jau jau bhabe

Sabu dina kemiti tu ete alaga hei jau

Jemiti pila bele dekhi thili nua nua lagu

Pacharibi pacharibi heu heu

Tu sankholi basau

Pakshi nka kakali ra record lagei ei asuchhi kahi dhire apasari jau...

Nishwash nebaku mu bhuli jae puni thare geeta sunu sunu

Tu puni ketebele chup kina pakhare thia hei thau....

Pachhare luchi

Khoju thae tate agare agare...

Kahibara thila-

Kali mote garam lagila boli

Rati sara kouthu saunti anilu megha muthe

Aji thanda achhi 

19.02.2019

~Nishwash nebaku bhuli jae

KASHI : THE FEATHER TOUCH

 KASHI : THE FEATHER TOUCH

Kashi ✨️
Kashi makes you feel at home, homehow...

Kashi ✨️
Kashi makes you feel at home, homehow...
No fear, no stress,
not a thing to worry,
when you wander on your own
in the streets
without the service of any broker,
shop, or are taking a bite from the food vendors
roaming inside the temple of Shree Vishwanath
Temple of Shree KalaBhairav
or are swaying along with
the waves of Ganga
in a boat ride,
anonymous, just on your own,
you feel the childhood is back
And you want to either laze around for days
Upon the couch with a foolish smile spread
Or are eager to go out
In an unsurpassable moving spree

You don't notice the dirt in the roadside, and you don't mind the crooked ways of people.
There is something in the air
That is enchanting and
You are in love with it
You are full of mounting joy
As you know you are a "in-group' everywhere
Inside your heart
Not a stranger as you usually are
In every city
And this realization is mushrooming in the wildest bushes of the brain that
You are stalked by a loved one
Who takes care of your every moment
Your stay, your food, security, every move
Who is everywhere you go
Yet is not appearing before your eyes,
Cause you are still not ready for the long awaited-hug
Only a faint touch of a fragrant presence
The soul is well acquainted of.

Like an unseen family was waiting
for your return...
For years
Or may be for lives
It's your family-forgotten
In a dream of alzjeimer or amnesia,
and as you are member
and are back, rejoicing is going on every inch of this part of the earth, in a grand welcome ceremony 

Of 'home-coming'
And something is on
A touch, a connect
Never felt before...

7.30AM
24.11.23

O my Known One, O my Love

 I Love you, My Divine,

You know me
You know my coming
To the exact point
You know I will wake up late today
And the Shiva temple will have no movement around 8 am
You know all this
And are eagerly waiting for me
For my foolish footsteps to approach the
exact desolate spot
Near Vimala temple
Behind the semi untouched serene area
You came out of your abode to meet me
You ran before me to catch my attention
And seeing me shocked & motionless
You too stopped
Looked at me
Made a movement towards my direction
And then changed it 

Too run towards
The semi bushy jungle...again
How you know
So many things about me
And I don't know anything about you..
This is a unbearable pain.
A new one developing...

O Friend, O my only Relative,
O My Unknown Lover,
In myriad forms you come before me
But seeing me unprepared
You go away...
My heart aches
My throat choked
Tear forming
And rolling down
What wasteful moments I spend
Among complete strangers
Whom I call my relatives...
O my Known One,
O my Love
I want to be with you.
In your true essence,
I want a cradle
O Merciful
O love, O teacher, O my Abode!

19.10.23
Thursday
Nabaratri Time
Day 5

Wo Nadi

 23rd August 2014

in Saota Swara My Page

Wo nadi…wo chhota sa nao-ghar 

aur Tumhara dibya-sparsh…

Jungle  ke nibhrut ilaake me hote hue

Chal pade wo pani ki raste me…

Sath me chale tara-bhara asman

Aur ek adha chhipa chand…

Jeise Tumhare lomash chhati me mere ashrit seer..

Nao chale ki taren chale, 

Jungle chale ki ham chalein, kaun jane

Par Tumhare safed sherwani, 

mere heena se range kalai me 

run jhun bahat sare chudiyan, kahein -

Tumhare ankhon me muskan ki daur 

aur mujhme neha ki jhula chale

jane ye nao chale na chale…

pani ki bahav jaroor chale…

itni thandi hai… 

aur Tumhare chhati ki bistaria 

eise me mulayam, ushum lage,

eise me ankh lagne ko hai ki Tum jagao-

hey, dekho, parde ke pichhe se Chand ne jhanka hai,

Tumhe dekhne…

Aur mai Tumhare unglion ko naak me lagaun,

Khusbu kisi barfili gufa me jalte hue aag ki jeise hai,

Bhaye mujhe…bahat…

Mitha se has dena Tumhara 

aur pukarne par ‘hun’ karna apnapan se….

Bhor se jab ankh bhi na khuli ho,

Chand apne ghar jae na jae sochta ho,

Raat ko andehera phir bhi jakad  ke dhare ho,

Tab kisi sugandh ki amantran se uthke beithun mai,

Sirhane ek adhe khile kamal ka guchha…

Tumhare man ki mahak ko mere tak lata hai…

Aur fir se Tum chale ate ho mere pash,

Dhire se ankho se haste hue,

Parda hatake…

Mere hath ki heena se ajeeb khusbu ae…

Aur chand chhup jae Tumhare ankhon me!

Nadi, nao ka ghar…ye aaranya-snigdhata

Tumse mujh tak chalte ae…

Mystic Muse

A Mystic Muse
With hidden jewels of intense sorrow
that he wears joyously,
An absent- minded nobody
Who knows the art of
Making himself alone
Even among the company of
The known people, friends.
Chosen to walk on the path of gloom,
Dejection, desolation, woe & melancholy.
Yet nourishes a dreamlight.

Priceless humans are like this
They mingle in the crowd like nobody
And are always in guise.
A conch shell they create around them
The only way to find them
Is to look deep into their fused eyes...
To feel the stillness in their body language
To hear the Mystic Muse their heart sing ...
Unreachable to everyone.

Had nurtured a feeling to hear it...
Always...
Got lost or faded for sometime now
In the path of Life - a Sadhana.
Relivened again seeing him
-unchanged
And restored it.
Feeling utterly empty like a bamboo
That let the air runs through it
Fabricating a flute.

The Infinite Companion

I thought it's you...

In my intense wish to

grab hold of whatever is left of you

O Pure Eyed,

I went after the voice that rings in me...

You seemed like a ghost

Always there

Happy when I return to my room

I remember 

some nine years back

I asked

Can you hear me.

You had said 'yes'

With a smile.

The voice turns out to be a direction map

The qweek qweek of the metal detector

Closing in now losing altogether in the next moment.

To see your smiling eyes again

For your tick marks, good girl tags

I started doing

All that is good and more good

A single spark of anger, vice, jealousy, fear

You are not going to tolerate.

Your request-

I should blossom like a lotus.

And in it's full bloom

I carry offerings

Not pride.

I believe this is what you want me to be, O Virtous Love,

And started walking.

I have reached a place now

Where I find lotuses in full blooms everywhere...

And strange beautiful birds talking to me.

So, I sit down

And demanded your company

You said you are there

Within me

But my point is you have a body and are living

For you, your company, I have forsaken the world, every relation, every possession,  every shred of it and is roaming here and there...

Making myself as you wish...

But you didn't come.

If you don't come, why this journey.

So, you cheated me.

I don't believe this.

You have been so good to me.

But this is the truth-

You are not coming.

All the Lotuses withered

Birds flew away

Long pythons started swirling the place...

I see Eyes everywhere...

Fear clutches my essence like thousand legged tentacles...

And I ran mad miles after miles, sobbing, weeping, screaming, sleepless, night after night, shaking like a storm fed leaf...

Then the voice appeared again...

-'It's me...

I am there with you

Why worry.'

I asked- who are you?

The voice was silent.

You are the vibration coming from my soulmate, aren't you?

Aren't you his mind, dancing like thousands of bees in the branches of my inner trees!

Aren't you my friend from the past lives...

Walking along with me all the time...

'No, I am you.

I live inside you'

The voice answered.

And I am Love.

Now don't talk to me.

Listen only...

You will hear distant train sounds...

Kirtans, mantras, from far afar places...

Humming sounds of the Universe, flutes will sing for you in moonless nights...

Hear the Dum Dum Dum of Damroos...

And see millions of fiery beings dancing,

Pass the myriad honeycomb of caves,

Follow the one who is guiding you walking ahead of you all the time.

Mark the lights, twinkling in the dark, flickering flames..

One being many,

Many being one.

Time stands still.

Behold.

And realize -Soham!

Listen and smile.

I presumed black magic and thought I am posseed by a spirit and gone a wrong way leaving the Kalpataru behind.

But the voice kept calling me

See, I am totally harmless.

Feel.

I am you.

How come I damage you.

It's hard to make pact with the true reality.

Harder to shake hands with yourself.

Once it's done,

Nothing matters.

When one finds the absolute companion,

Worldly companionship seems like a vast burnt jungle seen in a dream.

O Mute, When You Talk

O Mute 

When you talk

The buds open up 

Their petals

Slightly

Waking up from 

Deep slumber ...

Your whispering vibrations

Creates sparks within the deep chambers of dark clouds....

You whirl around me

& the tectonic plates slides slow.... Real slow..

To show glitters of diamond ornaments trapped within ....

A lost life

A lost story comes alive....

The vertebrate straight structure of your back

Makes me remember a forgotten mountain loaded with opium flowers....

Your smile opens up coloured fountains

And Spring descends in showers ....

In your eyes

I see me

I see you

I see you & me 

In your eyes,

So many mysteries untied

Begging me to unknot them....

You a whirlwind 

Start a storm in my chest

Much awaited...

Enchant me ...

Maddeningly.

You are magic

That I never understood 

Nor desire to do so ....