The Infinite Companion

I thought it's you...

In my intense wish to

grab hold of whatever is left of you

O Pure Eyed,

I went after the voice that rings in me...

You seemed like a ghost

Always there

Happy when I return to my room

I remember 

some nine years back

I asked

Can you hear me.

You had said 'yes'

With a smile.

The voice turns out to be a direction map

The qweek qweek of the metal detector

Closing in now losing altogether in the next moment.

To see your smiling eyes again

For your tick marks, good girl tags

I started doing

All that is good and more good

A single spark of anger, vice, jealousy, fear

You are not going to tolerate.

Your request-

I should blossom like a lotus.

And in it's full bloom

I carry offerings

Not pride.

I believe this is what you want me to be, O Virtous Love,

And started walking.

I have reached a place now

Where I find lotuses in full blooms everywhere...

And strange beautiful birds talking to me.

So, I sit down

And demanded your company

You said you are there

Within me

But my point is you have a body and are living

For you, your company, I have forsaken the world, every relation, every possession,  every shred of it and is roaming here and there...

Making myself as you wish...

But you didn't come.

If you don't come, why this journey.

So, you cheated me.

I don't believe this.

You have been so good to me.

But this is the truth-

You are not coming.

All the Lotuses withered

Birds flew away

Long pythons started swirling the place...

I see Eyes everywhere...

Fear clutches my essence like thousand legged tentacles...

And I ran mad miles after miles, sobbing, weeping, screaming, sleepless, night after night, shaking like a storm fed leaf...

Then the voice appeared again...

-'It's me...

I am there with you

Why worry.'

I asked- who are you?

The voice was silent.

You are the vibration coming from my soulmate, aren't you?

Aren't you his mind, dancing like thousands of bees in the branches of my inner trees!

Aren't you my friend from the past lives...

Walking along with me all the time...

'No, I am you.

I live inside you'

The voice answered.

And I am Love.

Now don't talk to me.

Listen only...

You will hear distant train sounds...

Kirtans, mantras, from far afar places...

Humming sounds of the Universe, flutes will sing for you in moonless nights...

Hear the Dum Dum Dum of Damroos...

And see millions of fiery beings dancing,

Pass the myriad honeycomb of caves,

Follow the one who is guiding you walking ahead of you all the time.

Mark the lights, twinkling in the dark, flickering flames..

One being many,

Many being one.

Time stands still.

Behold.

And realize -Soham!

Listen and smile.

I presumed black magic and thought I am posseed by a spirit and gone a wrong way leaving the Kalpataru behind.

But the voice kept calling me

See, I am totally harmless.

Feel.

I am you.

How come I damage you.

It's hard to make pact with the true reality.

Harder to shake hands with yourself.

Once it's done,

Nothing matters.

When one finds the absolute companion,

Worldly companionship seems like a vast burnt jungle seen in a dream.