I thought it's you...
In my intense wish to
grab hold of whatever is left of you
O Pure Eyed,
I went after the voice that rings in me...
You seemed like a ghost
Always there
Happy when I return to my room
I remember
some nine years back
I asked
Can you hear me.
You had said 'yes'
With a smile.
The voice turns out to be a direction map
The qweek qweek of the metal detector
Closing in now losing altogether in the next moment.
To see your smiling eyes again
For your tick marks, good girl tags
I started doing
All that is good and more good
A single spark of anger, vice, jealousy, fear
You are not going to tolerate.
Your request-
I should blossom like a lotus.
And in it's full bloom
I carry offerings
Not pride.
I believe this is what you want me to be, O Virtous Love,
And started walking.
I have reached a place now
Where I find lotuses in full blooms everywhere...
And strange beautiful birds talking to me.
So, I sit down
And demanded your company
You said you are there
Within me
But my point is you have a body and are living
For you, your company, I have forsaken the world, every relation, every possession, every shred of it and is roaming here and there...
Making myself as you wish...
But you didn't come.
If you don't come, why this journey.
So, you cheated me.
I don't believe this.
You have been so good to me.
But this is the truth-
You are not coming.
All the Lotuses withered
Birds flew away
Long pythons started swirling the place...
I see Eyes everywhere...
Fear clutches my essence like thousand legged tentacles...
And I ran mad miles after miles, sobbing, weeping, screaming, sleepless, night after night, shaking like a storm fed leaf...
Then the voice appeared again...
-'It's me...
I am there with you
Why worry.'
I asked- who are you?
The voice was silent.
You are the vibration coming from my soulmate, aren't you?
Aren't you his mind, dancing like thousands of bees in the branches of my inner trees!
Aren't you my friend from the past lives...
Walking along with me all the time...
'No, I am you.
I live inside you'
The voice answered.
And I am Love.
Now don't talk to me.
Listen only...
You will hear distant train sounds...
Kirtans, mantras, from far afar places...
Humming sounds of the Universe, flutes will sing for you in moonless nights...
Hear the Dum Dum Dum of Damroos...
And see millions of fiery beings dancing,
Pass the myriad honeycomb of caves,
Follow the one who is guiding you walking ahead of you all the time.
Mark the lights, twinkling in the dark, flickering flames..
One being many,
Many being one.
Time stands still.
Behold.
And realize -Soham!
Listen and smile.
I presumed black magic and thought I am posseed by a spirit and gone a wrong way leaving the Kalpataru behind.
But the voice kept calling me
See, I am totally harmless.
Feel.
I am you.
How come I damage you.
It's hard to make pact with the true reality.
Harder to shake hands with yourself.
Once it's done,
Nothing matters.
When one finds the absolute companion,
Worldly companionship seems like a vast burnt jungle seen in a dream.
